I find it rather refreshing to have a person peak your interest in a way that you never thought possible! I find it even more intriguing when you find that you are not interested in what they have to say so much as to what they are actually talking about in general.
I am finding myself becoming more and more interested in things that I never thought would peak my interest this much. My first thing is Bible knowledge. I am so intrigued by men that can talk about the bible to a female and seemingly not judge them for the questions they have or the knowledge they lack in this area. But instead, build them up, mentor them and try to help them grow in their walk with the Lord. Why is it that now when I see a man like this I am interested, I am intrigued and I am excited to engage in a conversation with him?! It's a matter of also being intimidated... I have never been intimidated by a man of God before!! It excites me because I want a man that can teach me things about the bible that I never knew! Things that we can discuss, learn together and just be excited about!
I am also realizing that when a man prays for me it makes me want more! I love having prayer time with a man of God who truly seeks His face and wants to know Jesus more. It is so amazing to see how a man can change the entire dynamics of a relationship by just trusting in the Lord and showing that he can humble himself!
All in all, I am interested in a man that has challenged me in a biblical way, mentally and spiritually. I am interested in a man that has knowledge of the bible that far exceeds mine and I am interested in a man that I have to look through Jesus to find him. My how the tables have turned!
Ha Ha Ha... Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and thanks for loving me!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Complete Satisfaction!
You know,
There comes a time in your life when you are going through the motions so much that it feels like it's the real thing. Is that not completely devastating to you? I feel like that as a Christian we should hold others accountable for their "premeditated walk of faith"... DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!
In our "Premeditated walk" we find ourselves standing in our own self-pity. Not praising God and not letting Him control our lives. We get into a routine that makes us start to slip. In the midst of or "GREAT FALL" we tend to go though things that make us feel like we are suffering/struggling. Are we really in that much pain... Are we in such a great pain that we can compare it to Jesus' suffering and His pain? NO...
WE DO NOT GO THROUGH THINGS THAT WE CAN'T HANDLE. JESUS DOES NOT PUT US THROUGH THINGS WE CAN'T HANDLE.
Jesus teaches us through our trials and He shows us that when we truly follow Him that we are going to be OK! You may not get the point of it all now, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO, but you will have a peace about it. Jesus does not allow you to go through things to punish you but to mold you into a better servant. Take this into consideration the next time you think your world is falling a part. SOMEONE ELSE HAD IS WORSE... JESUS!
In saying that, it leads me to my point: COMPLETE SATISFACTION!
In our walk with Christ, WE SHOULD BE COMPLETELY SATISFIED! We should NEVER question His reasoning nor should we wallow in self pity. We should praise Him in all weather... STORMS INCLUDED. Jesus loves US... DO NOT DEPRIVE HIM OF THE LOVE HE DESERVES BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH YOUR LIFE.
PRAISE JESUS!!
There comes a time in your life when you are going through the motions so much that it feels like it's the real thing. Is that not completely devastating to you? I feel like that as a Christian we should hold others accountable for their "premeditated walk of faith"... DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!
In our "Premeditated walk" we find ourselves standing in our own self-pity. Not praising God and not letting Him control our lives. We get into a routine that makes us start to slip. In the midst of or "GREAT FALL" we tend to go though things that make us feel like we are suffering/struggling. Are we really in that much pain... Are we in such a great pain that we can compare it to Jesus' suffering and His pain? NO...
WE DO NOT GO THROUGH THINGS THAT WE CAN'T HANDLE. JESUS DOES NOT PUT US THROUGH THINGS WE CAN'T HANDLE.
Jesus teaches us through our trials and He shows us that when we truly follow Him that we are going to be OK! You may not get the point of it all now, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO, but you will have a peace about it. Jesus does not allow you to go through things to punish you but to mold you into a better servant. Take this into consideration the next time you think your world is falling a part. SOMEONE ELSE HAD IS WORSE... JESUS!
In saying that, it leads me to my point: COMPLETE SATISFACTION!
In our walk with Christ, WE SHOULD BE COMPLETELY SATISFIED! We should NEVER question His reasoning nor should we wallow in self pity. We should praise Him in all weather... STORMS INCLUDED. Jesus loves US... DO NOT DEPRIVE HIM OF THE LOVE HE DESERVES BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH YOUR LIFE.
PRAISE JESUS!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
"Hey...This is your job" "Will you marry me?"
Hey...
This is your job,
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"
So you know when God speaks to you and tells you that He has found the perfect job for you?! A job that you can do EVERYTHING that makes you happy!
A job where you can meet new people, and make crafty things. Where you can organize events, dance, color, sing, praise God, PRAY, and just really work!
I LOVE my job! I can't seem to get enough of the everyday office stuff. I feel like I am good at what I do, although there are many things that I need to learn and some of those things will come with age... I LOVE MY JOB! I knew what I was getting into when I took the job but I never thought that I would become so obsessed with making it perfect and better then its ever been. Crazy over it... I mean so nuts over your job that you eat and sleep and breathe the information. Day in and day out.
I do that. I think about my job all the time. I work at my job like it's a marriage. Does that please God? I mean, I coordinate a youth camp... that's good right? I get defensive over my work, that's not pride right?! I invest my whole life into my work and I feel like it's all I have to measure my success... that's not stupid... RIGHT?!
I feel like I am in a failing marriage at times. I feel like I have tried and tried to do everything I can but I am getting nothing back. I feel defeated at times. I feel happy and sad and tired and glad and awesome all at the same time. But, it's empty. Am I missing the "BIG PICTURE"? Is God shaking His head at me because I am too absorbed in my work? Am I doing what God wants or should I take a step back?
Am I disappointing God because I am in a failing work marriage?
This is your job,
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"
So you know when God speaks to you and tells you that He has found the perfect job for you?! A job that you can do EVERYTHING that makes you happy!
A job where you can meet new people, and make crafty things. Where you can organize events, dance, color, sing, praise God, PRAY, and just really work!
I LOVE my job! I can't seem to get enough of the everyday office stuff. I feel like I am good at what I do, although there are many things that I need to learn and some of those things will come with age... I LOVE MY JOB! I knew what I was getting into when I took the job but I never thought that I would become so obsessed with making it perfect and better then its ever been. Crazy over it... I mean so nuts over your job that you eat and sleep and breathe the information. Day in and day out.
I do that. I think about my job all the time. I work at my job like it's a marriage. Does that please God? I mean, I coordinate a youth camp... that's good right? I get defensive over my work, that's not pride right?! I invest my whole life into my work and I feel like it's all I have to measure my success... that's not stupid... RIGHT?!
I feel like I am in a failing marriage at times. I feel like I have tried and tried to do everything I can but I am getting nothing back. I feel defeated at times. I feel happy and sad and tired and glad and awesome all at the same time. But, it's empty. Am I missing the "BIG PICTURE"? Is God shaking His head at me because I am too absorbed in my work? Am I doing what God wants or should I take a step back?
Am I disappointing God because I am in a failing work marriage?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Death and Swimming...
Death & Swimming...
Today my roommate and I decided to "simplify" our lives. We made pretty good progress if I do say so myself!!
As I am sitting in my bedroom, going through the closet... throwing away clothes that don't fit, that are too ugly, too short, too faded, not faded enough, stained, and ones that are even smelly... I find a scarf that my grandmother knitted for me for Christmas 2009. I began to look at the work she had done, I studied it and began to try and figure out how a woman that is half blind could knit a beautiful crimson scarf. She made me a scarf for Christmas that will probably last for as long as I live. I began to think about how important she is to me and how my life would have been very different had I not had two loving sets of grandparents. I started thinking of how I never really tell the people around me that they are important, that I need them to get through my day to day stuff. That in my life, right this moment, I constantly think of DEATH.
The dreaded day that will inevitably come and take us all.
The day that will change my life forever.
The day that I sit here and cry about as I hold the scarf my grandmother knitted for me.
The day that I fear so much.
I have such a fear that one day I will not be able to dial the phone number that my grandparents have had for as long as I can remember and hear one of their voices.
Death is something that I don't feel like I am going to be able to deal with as a human. I mean, I have been to funerals and made it through but I have not ever had this type of feeling about it before. I am so scared that someone close to me is going to die and not go to heaven. I am afraid that when I die and go that I will not see them there.
I know what I have to do... I need to SWIM FOR THEIR LIVES. I must SWIM FOR MY LIFE. I must SWIM until I know that they have reached a place that I can say, "I know they are with God in heaven."
I know that it may seem crazy right now but I hope that everyone goes out into the world, with a sense of urgency, and swims for their lives and their loved ones lives.
HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE, NO BATHING SUITS REQUIRED!!
Today my roommate and I decided to "simplify" our lives. We made pretty good progress if I do say so myself!!
As I am sitting in my bedroom, going through the closet... throwing away clothes that don't fit, that are too ugly, too short, too faded, not faded enough, stained, and ones that are even smelly... I find a scarf that my grandmother knitted for me for Christmas 2009. I began to look at the work she had done, I studied it and began to try and figure out how a woman that is half blind could knit a beautiful crimson scarf. She made me a scarf for Christmas that will probably last for as long as I live. I began to think about how important she is to me and how my life would have been very different had I not had two loving sets of grandparents. I started thinking of how I never really tell the people around me that they are important, that I need them to get through my day to day stuff. That in my life, right this moment, I constantly think of DEATH.
The dreaded day that will inevitably come and take us all.
The day that will change my life forever.
The day that I sit here and cry about as I hold the scarf my grandmother knitted for me.
The day that I fear so much.
I have such a fear that one day I will not be able to dial the phone number that my grandparents have had for as long as I can remember and hear one of their voices.
Death is something that I don't feel like I am going to be able to deal with as a human. I mean, I have been to funerals and made it through but I have not ever had this type of feeling about it before. I am so scared that someone close to me is going to die and not go to heaven. I am afraid that when I die and go that I will not see them there.
I know what I have to do... I need to SWIM FOR THEIR LIVES. I must SWIM FOR MY LIFE. I must SWIM until I know that they have reached a place that I can say, "I know they are with God in heaven."
I know that it may seem crazy right now but I hope that everyone goes out into the world, with a sense of urgency, and swims for their lives and their loved ones lives.
HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE, NO BATHING SUITS REQUIRED!!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Measuring Success
Measuring Success...
So I have been struggling with this whole success thing...
I mean, I feel like I should be able to tell if I am successful or not. Right?!
Why can't I get out a ruler, measure my life and say ok... I have been 100% successful thus far.
Why do I feel unsuccessful?
I mean...am I an unsuccessful person because I have chosen a carrer path that does not necessarily require a diploma at this time?
Why do I feel like society doesn't see me as successful? I feel like people look at me and think that I could be doing so much more with my life...But is "doing more with my life" in there eyes, something like becoming a Doctor? Or a Biochemist? Or a Dentist? Is it doing something that God doesn't neccesarly want for my life?
I called one of my closest friends the other night... she really helped me feel better about not feeling "successful". She told me that I have done a some really good things. Even though I never saw this as part of my life it doesn't mean that it's not meant to be this way.
I guess that you can only measure sucess by one thing... making sure you are living your life the wat God intends for you to!! I guess I'm on the right track then!
So I have been struggling with this whole success thing...
I mean, I feel like I should be able to tell if I am successful or not. Right?!
Why can't I get out a ruler, measure my life and say ok... I have been 100% successful thus far.
Why do I feel unsuccessful?
I mean...am I an unsuccessful person because I have chosen a carrer path that does not necessarily require a diploma at this time?
Why do I feel like society doesn't see me as successful? I feel like people look at me and think that I could be doing so much more with my life...But is "doing more with my life" in there eyes, something like becoming a Doctor? Or a Biochemist? Or a Dentist? Is it doing something that God doesn't neccesarly want for my life?
I called one of my closest friends the other night... she really helped me feel better about not feeling "successful". She told me that I have done a some really good things. Even though I never saw this as part of my life it doesn't mean that it's not meant to be this way.
I guess that you can only measure sucess by one thing... making sure you are living your life the wat God intends for you to!! I guess I'm on the right track then!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Anger & Forgivness
Anger & Forgivness
I tend to loose my temper sometimes...
I get angry and say things out of reason. I know that I can apologize, but what if I were not forgiven. What if the person that you wrong only gives you one chance and once it's over, IT'S OVER.
What if "forgivness" didn't exsist.
What if God only gave us one chance? How many of us would fail Him?
I know that I would... I mess up, I sin, I don't always ask for forgivness, I don't always make sure that I show God's love and grace to everyone. I don't read like I should, pray like I should, LISTEN like I should, praise like I should, seek like I should, obey like I should, try as hard as I can... at all times... day and night...hot or cold... wet or dry... good times or bad times.
But why?
Why do I not run to him when I am angry, why don't I stop, ask for help, slow my thoughts, pray, listen and then speak...
Why is it so hard for me to wait?
Why do I hear something that angers me, digest it, and BLOW UP??
What if that one second that it takes me to blow up, what if at that moment I knew that God was not going to give me another chance...
What if God said, Brianna, you're about to make a choice... You can lose your cool and act stupid and lose me forever or you can think, take a deep breath and move on.
What if we were faced with a choice? A choice to live life on the side of life where forgivness didn't exsist...
What if God made us choose and we chose wrong?
Would it be worth spending your life in a world-wind of chaos and turmoil?
When these thoughts start to flood my brain and my mind comes out of left field... I'm reminded that GOD FORGIVES! I am so thankful that I know His love... that I feel His love... that I can share His love and forgivness to the world.
When I get angry I try and think about the most rational thing to do... does it always come out that way... NO.
In those times that I slip up and mess up, I praise God for giving me more then one chance.
Lord, It's so very good to be loved by you!!
Thanks for giving me a second chance and FORGIVING ME!!
I tend to loose my temper sometimes...
I get angry and say things out of reason. I know that I can apologize, but what if I were not forgiven. What if the person that you wrong only gives you one chance and once it's over, IT'S OVER.
What if "forgivness" didn't exsist.
What if God only gave us one chance? How many of us would fail Him?
I know that I would... I mess up, I sin, I don't always ask for forgivness, I don't always make sure that I show God's love and grace to everyone. I don't read like I should, pray like I should, LISTEN like I should, praise like I should, seek like I should, obey like I should, try as hard as I can... at all times... day and night...hot or cold... wet or dry... good times or bad times.
But why?
Why do I not run to him when I am angry, why don't I stop, ask for help, slow my thoughts, pray, listen and then speak...
Why is it so hard for me to wait?
Why do I hear something that angers me, digest it, and BLOW UP??
What if that one second that it takes me to blow up, what if at that moment I knew that God was not going to give me another chance...
What if God said, Brianna, you're about to make a choice... You can lose your cool and act stupid and lose me forever or you can think, take a deep breath and move on.
What if we were faced with a choice? A choice to live life on the side of life where forgivness didn't exsist...
What if God made us choose and we chose wrong?
Would it be worth spending your life in a world-wind of chaos and turmoil?
When these thoughts start to flood my brain and my mind comes out of left field... I'm reminded that GOD FORGIVES! I am so thankful that I know His love... that I feel His love... that I can share His love and forgivness to the world.
When I get angry I try and think about the most rational thing to do... does it always come out that way... NO.
In those times that I slip up and mess up, I praise God for giving me more then one chance.
Lord, It's so very good to be loved by you!!
Thanks for giving me a second chance and FORGIVING ME!!
My heart has a desire...
My heart has a desire...
My heart has a desire to help. I feel like sometimes I can't. I try and try and try and I feel helpless at times.
-When do you know when the Lord wants you to give up??
-Does He ever want you to give up??
-When you give it to God, do you really "give it to God" or does the flesh side of you take over at times and prevent you from really giving it away??
I feel like my heart desires the Lord to use me in the must powerful way but that I don't have the means to do anything.
I feel like I need money, but I know that I don't. I feel like I need to know the bible inside and out to help the Lord use me to save a life, but I don't... right??!!?
Or wrong??!!?
I am struggling with not being able to drop everything and "GO & DO". I want to drop everything and rush to the "scene" and lend a hand and share Jesus' love and build the house and feed the kid and dry the tears and reassure those who are afraid that God loves them...
But I have this job and this life and these things that I have to pay for and this debt and a place to sleep, but I feel like even though I have all of these worldly possessions... THEY'RE NOT ENOUGH.
My heart desires a connection so strong with the Lord that you have to talk to Him to get to me. Is that so crazy??!!?
My heart has a desire to help. I feel like sometimes I can't. I try and try and try and I feel helpless at times.
-When do you know when the Lord wants you to give up??
-Does He ever want you to give up??
-When you give it to God, do you really "give it to God" or does the flesh side of you take over at times and prevent you from really giving it away??
I feel like my heart desires the Lord to use me in the must powerful way but that I don't have the means to do anything.
I feel like I need money, but I know that I don't. I feel like I need to know the bible inside and out to help the Lord use me to save a life, but I don't... right??!!?
Or wrong??!!?
I am struggling with not being able to drop everything and "GO & DO". I want to drop everything and rush to the "scene" and lend a hand and share Jesus' love and build the house and feed the kid and dry the tears and reassure those who are afraid that God loves them...
But I have this job and this life and these things that I have to pay for and this debt and a place to sleep, but I feel like even though I have all of these worldly possessions... THEY'RE NOT ENOUGH.
My heart desires a connection so strong with the Lord that you have to talk to Him to get to me. Is that so crazy??!!?
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