Measuring Success...
So I have been struggling with this whole success thing...
I mean, I feel like I should be able to tell if I am successful or not. Right?!
Why can't I get out a ruler, measure my life and say ok... I have been 100% successful thus far.
Why do I feel unsuccessful?
I mean...am I an unsuccessful person because I have chosen a carrer path that does not necessarily require a diploma at this time?
Why do I feel like society doesn't see me as successful? I feel like people look at me and think that I could be doing so much more with my life...But is "doing more with my life" in there eyes, something like becoming a Doctor? Or a Biochemist? Or a Dentist? Is it doing something that God doesn't neccesarly want for my life?
I called one of my closest friends the other night... she really helped me feel better about not feeling "successful". She told me that I have done a some really good things. Even though I never saw this as part of my life it doesn't mean that it's not meant to be this way.
I guess that you can only measure sucess by one thing... making sure you are living your life the wat God intends for you to!! I guess I'm on the right track then!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Anger & Forgivness
Anger & Forgivness
I tend to loose my temper sometimes...
I get angry and say things out of reason. I know that I can apologize, but what if I were not forgiven. What if the person that you wrong only gives you one chance and once it's over, IT'S OVER.
What if "forgivness" didn't exsist.
What if God only gave us one chance? How many of us would fail Him?
I know that I would... I mess up, I sin, I don't always ask for forgivness, I don't always make sure that I show God's love and grace to everyone. I don't read like I should, pray like I should, LISTEN like I should, praise like I should, seek like I should, obey like I should, try as hard as I can... at all times... day and night...hot or cold... wet or dry... good times or bad times.
But why?
Why do I not run to him when I am angry, why don't I stop, ask for help, slow my thoughts, pray, listen and then speak...
Why is it so hard for me to wait?
Why do I hear something that angers me, digest it, and BLOW UP??
What if that one second that it takes me to blow up, what if at that moment I knew that God was not going to give me another chance...
What if God said, Brianna, you're about to make a choice... You can lose your cool and act stupid and lose me forever or you can think, take a deep breath and move on.
What if we were faced with a choice? A choice to live life on the side of life where forgivness didn't exsist...
What if God made us choose and we chose wrong?
Would it be worth spending your life in a world-wind of chaos and turmoil?
When these thoughts start to flood my brain and my mind comes out of left field... I'm reminded that GOD FORGIVES! I am so thankful that I know His love... that I feel His love... that I can share His love and forgivness to the world.
When I get angry I try and think about the most rational thing to do... does it always come out that way... NO.
In those times that I slip up and mess up, I praise God for giving me more then one chance.
Lord, It's so very good to be loved by you!!
Thanks for giving me a second chance and FORGIVING ME!!
I tend to loose my temper sometimes...
I get angry and say things out of reason. I know that I can apologize, but what if I were not forgiven. What if the person that you wrong only gives you one chance and once it's over, IT'S OVER.
What if "forgivness" didn't exsist.
What if God only gave us one chance? How many of us would fail Him?
I know that I would... I mess up, I sin, I don't always ask for forgivness, I don't always make sure that I show God's love and grace to everyone. I don't read like I should, pray like I should, LISTEN like I should, praise like I should, seek like I should, obey like I should, try as hard as I can... at all times... day and night...hot or cold... wet or dry... good times or bad times.
But why?
Why do I not run to him when I am angry, why don't I stop, ask for help, slow my thoughts, pray, listen and then speak...
Why is it so hard for me to wait?
Why do I hear something that angers me, digest it, and BLOW UP??
What if that one second that it takes me to blow up, what if at that moment I knew that God was not going to give me another chance...
What if God said, Brianna, you're about to make a choice... You can lose your cool and act stupid and lose me forever or you can think, take a deep breath and move on.
What if we were faced with a choice? A choice to live life on the side of life where forgivness didn't exsist...
What if God made us choose and we chose wrong?
Would it be worth spending your life in a world-wind of chaos and turmoil?
When these thoughts start to flood my brain and my mind comes out of left field... I'm reminded that GOD FORGIVES! I am so thankful that I know His love... that I feel His love... that I can share His love and forgivness to the world.
When I get angry I try and think about the most rational thing to do... does it always come out that way... NO.
In those times that I slip up and mess up, I praise God for giving me more then one chance.
Lord, It's so very good to be loved by you!!
Thanks for giving me a second chance and FORGIVING ME!!
My heart has a desire...
My heart has a desire...
My heart has a desire to help. I feel like sometimes I can't. I try and try and try and I feel helpless at times.
-When do you know when the Lord wants you to give up??
-Does He ever want you to give up??
-When you give it to God, do you really "give it to God" or does the flesh side of you take over at times and prevent you from really giving it away??
I feel like my heart desires the Lord to use me in the must powerful way but that I don't have the means to do anything.
I feel like I need money, but I know that I don't. I feel like I need to know the bible inside and out to help the Lord use me to save a life, but I don't... right??!!?
Or wrong??!!?
I am struggling with not being able to drop everything and "GO & DO". I want to drop everything and rush to the "scene" and lend a hand and share Jesus' love and build the house and feed the kid and dry the tears and reassure those who are afraid that God loves them...
But I have this job and this life and these things that I have to pay for and this debt and a place to sleep, but I feel like even though I have all of these worldly possessions... THEY'RE NOT ENOUGH.
My heart desires a connection so strong with the Lord that you have to talk to Him to get to me. Is that so crazy??!!?
My heart has a desire to help. I feel like sometimes I can't. I try and try and try and I feel helpless at times.
-When do you know when the Lord wants you to give up??
-Does He ever want you to give up??
-When you give it to God, do you really "give it to God" or does the flesh side of you take over at times and prevent you from really giving it away??
I feel like my heart desires the Lord to use me in the must powerful way but that I don't have the means to do anything.
I feel like I need money, but I know that I don't. I feel like I need to know the bible inside and out to help the Lord use me to save a life, but I don't... right??!!?
Or wrong??!!?
I am struggling with not being able to drop everything and "GO & DO". I want to drop everything and rush to the "scene" and lend a hand and share Jesus' love and build the house and feed the kid and dry the tears and reassure those who are afraid that God loves them...
But I have this job and this life and these things that I have to pay for and this debt and a place to sleep, but I feel like even though I have all of these worldly possessions... THEY'RE NOT ENOUGH.
My heart desires a connection so strong with the Lord that you have to talk to Him to get to me. Is that so crazy??!!?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Listening when God speaks
Listening when God Speaks
I have a hard time sometimes when God tells me things. I can hear him and I choose to walk the other direction. I don't know why I do this. I know it's wrong but I do it sometimes before I realize I have. It becomes the norm...
So last night I was getting ready for bed, Kelly (my roommate and best friend) was in the shower. I'm about asleep when she walks into the room and says in a seriously scary voice, "You'll never believe what just happened". I'm thinking it must be bad. She proceeds to tell me that God told her to hush and listen. He told her that He wanted her to give a lady a bible and that it needed to be her own. The one she uses all the time. The bible that my mom gave me, that I gave her, now she is giving to someone else. I am pleased to say that Kelly listened to God.
Although it was hard for Kelly to give up here bible, she did.
In saying that...
I know that sometimes when God speaks, IT'S REALLY HARD TO LISTEN. I'm trying, I really am trying. I find it to be harder to listen when He says things I don't want to hear, or tells me things that I don't want to do. I am so sure sometimes that I am doing the right thing and then He tells me to stop and turn around and to go the other way. I LIKE IT!!
With these things being said, I ask that you pray that I LISTEN when God speaks and FOLLOW His direction for my life!
I have a hard time sometimes when God tells me things. I can hear him and I choose to walk the other direction. I don't know why I do this. I know it's wrong but I do it sometimes before I realize I have. It becomes the norm...
So last night I was getting ready for bed, Kelly (my roommate and best friend) was in the shower. I'm about asleep when she walks into the room and says in a seriously scary voice, "You'll never believe what just happened". I'm thinking it must be bad. She proceeds to tell me that God told her to hush and listen. He told her that He wanted her to give a lady a bible and that it needed to be her own. The one she uses all the time. The bible that my mom gave me, that I gave her, now she is giving to someone else. I am pleased to say that Kelly listened to God.
Although it was hard for Kelly to give up here bible, she did.
In saying that...
I know that sometimes when God speaks, IT'S REALLY HARD TO LISTEN. I'm trying, I really am trying. I find it to be harder to listen when He says things I don't want to hear, or tells me things that I don't want to do. I am so sure sometimes that I am doing the right thing and then He tells me to stop and turn around and to go the other way. I LIKE IT!!
With these things being said, I ask that you pray that I LISTEN when God speaks and FOLLOW His direction for my life!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
PASSION 2011
PASSION 2011
(I ramble so this is not going to be grammatically correct in the least and I DON'T CARE! I'm just so overwhelmed by what the Lord is doing that I am going to type and submit!! NO THINKING HERE!!!)
So as you may know, I have recently returned from and amazing journey that I like to call PASSION 2011! I have found what the Lord wants my personal ministry to be, WATER!! I know that it may seem a little off but I will tell you why...
While at PASSION 2011 I did an exercise where I carried a 40 lb. jug of water 1/8 of a mile. (I barley made it through the course. If people hadn't been there cheering me on I wouldn't have made it. I am so weak! lol) The reason for this exercise is to show you the struggles that children in other countries have to go through just to get water, 90% of which is not clean. The children I read stories about from India and Uganda had to walk anywhere from 3-7 miles for dirty, gritty, nasty water. We got to see the water that they drink everyday... it was really hard for me to see this because I have a "texture issue". (I can't eat certain things, I can't drink certain things, I can't touch certain things... it really is hard sometimes to get over this "texture issue".) With seeing what they had to struggle so hard for, I began to pray. I prayed for a day about what God wanted me to do, did He want me to donate to the making of clean water wells in India or did He want me to donate to rescue women from sex trafficking or did He want me to adopt a Compassion International kid. (Which I am still in prayer for!) The Lord ended up laying on my heart the water issue. I ended up getting in line to donate money to build the 15th water well sponsored by PASSION 2011-ATLANTA kids! It made my day! I began to praise the Lord for giving the money to donate. I ended up donating my very last dollar! (Which I was concerned about because Kelly and I still had to eat dinner that night and we didn't have anymore money. That night in community group, a member from our family group ended up giving us twice what I gave and said that the Lord told him to give it to us! PRAISE & GLORY BE TO GOD!) If you would like to help build clean water wells in India, follow the link and give: dosomethingnow.com
So as we leave PASSION 2011 I start asking the Lord how I can use my "water ministry" to glorify His name and expand His kingdom. The Lord then lays on my heart to pay someones water bill that is struggling, I did! I know it was the right thing!
I feel like I am over flowing with a desire to be used by the Lord to make a difference in this world. I am currently praying for a mission trip opportunity. No matter where it is or where I will go, I just want to Lord to use me! I ask that you pray for me and my journey on this earth. That I HEAR His voice and LISTEN to what he tells me!
Prayer Requests:
(I am asking for prayer in these areas, if you have a need or a request, comment on this blog and I will pray for you and help in any way I can)
- Me adopting a Compassion International Child
- The mission trip I want to take
- My water ministry
- personal strength
- my parents, my mom just got laid off. The Lord is continuing to bless them, but prayer is needed. (it was kind of a blessing in disguise)
- That the Lord sends people to me so that I can share His love with them.
- personal finances, so that I can continue to give to the causes I believe the Lord wants me to.
(I ramble so this is not going to be grammatically correct in the least and I DON'T CARE! I'm just so overwhelmed by what the Lord is doing that I am going to type and submit!! NO THINKING HERE!!!)
So as you may know, I have recently returned from and amazing journey that I like to call PASSION 2011! I have found what the Lord wants my personal ministry to be, WATER!! I know that it may seem a little off but I will tell you why...
While at PASSION 2011 I did an exercise where I carried a 40 lb. jug of water 1/8 of a mile. (I barley made it through the course. If people hadn't been there cheering me on I wouldn't have made it. I am so weak! lol) The reason for this exercise is to show you the struggles that children in other countries have to go through just to get water, 90% of which is not clean. The children I read stories about from India and Uganda had to walk anywhere from 3-7 miles for dirty, gritty, nasty water. We got to see the water that they drink everyday... it was really hard for me to see this because I have a "texture issue". (I can't eat certain things, I can't drink certain things, I can't touch certain things... it really is hard sometimes to get over this "texture issue".) With seeing what they had to struggle so hard for, I began to pray. I prayed for a day about what God wanted me to do, did He want me to donate to the making of clean water wells in India or did He want me to donate to rescue women from sex trafficking or did He want me to adopt a Compassion International kid. (Which I am still in prayer for!) The Lord ended up laying on my heart the water issue. I ended up getting in line to donate money to build the 15th water well sponsored by PASSION 2011-ATLANTA kids! It made my day! I began to praise the Lord for giving the money to donate. I ended up donating my very last dollar! (Which I was concerned about because Kelly and I still had to eat dinner that night and we didn't have anymore money. That night in community group, a member from our family group ended up giving us twice what I gave and said that the Lord told him to give it to us! PRAISE & GLORY BE TO GOD!) If you would like to help build clean water wells in India, follow the link and give: dosomethingnow.com
So as we leave PASSION 2011 I start asking the Lord how I can use my "water ministry" to glorify His name and expand His kingdom. The Lord then lays on my heart to pay someones water bill that is struggling, I did! I know it was the right thing!
I feel like I am over flowing with a desire to be used by the Lord to make a difference in this world. I am currently praying for a mission trip opportunity. No matter where it is or where I will go, I just want to Lord to use me! I ask that you pray for me and my journey on this earth. That I HEAR His voice and LISTEN to what he tells me!
Prayer Requests:
(I am asking for prayer in these areas, if you have a need or a request, comment on this blog and I will pray for you and help in any way I can)
- Me adopting a Compassion International Child
- The mission trip I want to take
- My water ministry
- personal strength
- my parents, my mom just got laid off. The Lord is continuing to bless them, but prayer is needed. (it was kind of a blessing in disguise)
- That the Lord sends people to me so that I can share His love with them.
- personal finances, so that I can continue to give to the causes I believe the Lord wants me to.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Starting my journey!!
So this is my first entry, on my first blog EVER!!!
I am starting this blog to show you how God is blessing my life and how is going to use me as a tool in his ever fruitful garden. I am so nervous... I know that with every step I take in getting closer to the Lord, the Devil gets more and more angry. I am starting a "Bible in a Year" study. I was encouraged to do that through a few friends I met at Passion 2011! (More to come on that!!)
So anyway, I am writing this first blog entry to get used to this whole thing! I will soon be writing about my PASSION 2011 experience and many many other things!
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME... I WILL NEED IT!
I am starting this blog to show you how God is blessing my life and how is going to use me as a tool in his ever fruitful garden. I am so nervous... I know that with every step I take in getting closer to the Lord, the Devil gets more and more angry. I am starting a "Bible in a Year" study. I was encouraged to do that through a few friends I met at Passion 2011! (More to come on that!!)
So anyway, I am writing this first blog entry to get used to this whole thing! I will soon be writing about my PASSION 2011 experience and many many other things!
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME... I WILL NEED IT!
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