Death & Swimming...
Today my roommate and I decided to "simplify" our lives. We made pretty good progress if I do say so myself!!
As I am sitting in my bedroom, going through the closet... throwing away clothes that don't fit, that are too ugly, too short, too faded, not faded enough, stained, and ones that are even smelly... I find a scarf that my grandmother knitted for me for Christmas 2009. I began to look at the work she had done, I studied it and began to try and figure out how a woman that is half blind could knit a beautiful crimson scarf. She made me a scarf for Christmas that will probably last for as long as I live. I began to think about how important she is to me and how my life would have been very different had I not had two loving sets of grandparents. I started thinking of how I never really tell the people around me that they are important, that I need them to get through my day to day stuff. That in my life, right this moment, I constantly think of DEATH.
The dreaded day that will inevitably come and take us all.
The day that will change my life forever.
The day that I sit here and cry about as I hold the scarf my grandmother knitted for me.
The day that I fear so much.
I have such a fear that one day I will not be able to dial the phone number that my grandparents have had for as long as I can remember and hear one of their voices.
Death is something that I don't feel like I am going to be able to deal with as a human. I mean, I have been to funerals and made it through but I have not ever had this type of feeling about it before. I am so scared that someone close to me is going to die and not go to heaven. I am afraid that when I die and go that I will not see them there.
I know what I have to do... I need to SWIM FOR THEIR LIVES. I must SWIM FOR MY LIFE. I must SWIM until I know that they have reached a place that I can say, "I know they are with God in heaven."
I know that it may seem crazy right now but I hope that everyone goes out into the world, with a sense of urgency, and swims for their lives and their loved ones lives.
HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE, NO BATHING SUITS REQUIRED!!
